Fingernail Fanatic
   US Patent Issued In 2000

He goes on to say; "For thousands of years people have been fighting dirty fingernails much like they hunted wild game in cave-man days---manually, with the blade of a knife.  While this may work in some cases, such as where the dirt is easily dislodged, it presupposes a certain level of coordination while handling a knife.  Once again, today's modern man is both better educated and less adept with a knife."

Ok, lets get serious here folks, our inventor has spent way too much time thinking about clean fingernails, their history and their impact on society at large.  But such a detailed mind has brought us a foolproof, completely automated machine for cleaning the hard substance growing from the end of our digits.  The Fingernail Fanatic has an amazing array of features including, but not limited too (a little attorney speak there), motor driven, finely tuned oscillating brushes, fine jets of aqueous solutions and finger alignment tunnels to maintain proper digit orientation in the plane of the scrubbing zone.  Wow, we're impressed but the inventor should think about getting out a little more often.

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