Birdman of Alcatraz
  US Patent Issued In 1999

Are you bird watching more and enjoying it less?  Are you tired of using binoculars to get up close and personal with your feathered friends?  If you want the birds to come to you, you'll need the "come hither" Birdman of Alcatraz bird feeder!  To attract hungry hummingbirds, fill the feeders (#107) with nectar and go sit in your favorite bird watching spot.  With any luck, they will flit and fly right in front of your eyes!  Your winged guests may be a bit nervous so don't sneeze, cough, scratch or twitch.  Be sure to wear stylish mirrored aviator glasses to conceal prying eyes and it wouldn't hurt to have brushed your teeth before breathing on the birds.

The inventor thought of everything! Number 213 is a counterweight and #215 is a perch/staging area for late arriving birds waiting to gain access to the busy feeders (a little optimistic, don't you think?).  Number 217 is a magnifying glass and #109 is a dufus.  If the flocks don't cooperate, stick some nuts in the feeders and let the squirrel fest begin!

P.S.  For more absurd patents, don't forget to visit the Patently Absurd Inventions Archive...click here!

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Copyright 1997-2008 T. VanCleave